OK, my life was not so unmanageable before I stopped drinking, I believed. No, I was just misunderstood. Oh, and mistreated! But I needed to rethink what unmanageable meant. I may have been misunderstood, mistreated, but, I was dreadfully mistaken about how I used and abused alcohol. Fortunately, when I heard the phrase unmanageable to any degree I realized I had to give up comparing myself to others, and look for similarities.
Definitions of alcoholics are many and varied. For brevity we think of an alcoholic as one whose life has become unmanageable to any degree due to the use of alcohol. (Baltimore Preamble )
The definition of bottom changed from losing everything, including sanity and life itself, to the place and mindset where
I was willing to quit digging, and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Now “unmanageable” was not as hard to define as I made it.
Revisiting Step One is always a good use of my time – especially on days when I am tempted to tend stuff that’s not on my side of the street. Here’s how I staying on my side, today.
I will remember, accept and practice:
Having a capacity for alcohol doesn’t mean we have the capacity to control our drinking.
Alcohol is not forbidden fruit. For me – it’s poison.
Who in their right mind drinks poison?
Those of us who think we can still drink safely, knowing what follows after we slip. Insanity isn’t doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome; it’s doing the same thing over and over, knowing what’s coming.
So, just for today,
- I believe that just because I can drink (or meddle) doesn’t mean I should. Consider the AA Big Book’s suggestion of substituting the practice of jaywalking for alcoholism. (Pages 37-38)
- Accept that I am the boss of me, not you, and this is a full-time job. Remember the Serenity Prayer.
- I will hand over to God, who keeps me sane and sober, all that I cannot control. He is the GOD who sees me, a weary, fearful outcast. Genesis 16:13
I will remember, believe and accept:
- You can’t build a life of power through your own efforts ~ (C. John Miller)
Love to you, Gentle Reader – God can and will restore and preserve our sanity.
Sober and Grateful