A foggy morning reminds me of so many lost days when I drank. Even in recovery, emotions and memories can suddenly descend and blanket my path. They bewilder and block me. I can hear a whispering accusation through them — loser –
Just like this gray morning needs the sun to burn off the thick fog, I need a power greater than myself to dispel the dangerous gray mists of regret, shame, and despair – because myself would decide a quick fix would be either a drink, or a dry drunk.
From it, I include a prayer for me and thee –
Henri Nouwen’s prayer offers us the way forward:
I so much want to be in control.
I want to be the master of my own destiny.
Still I know that you are saying:
“Let me take you by the hand and lead you.
Accept my love
and trust that where I will bring you,
the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled.”
Lord, open my hands to receive your gift of love.
In the time it took me to jot down these foggy thoughts – the sun is doing its thing; the fog is lifting. May God open our hands, thine and mine, to receive His gift of love.
Love in Christ,
Sober and Grateful