A Tranquil Mind

“A tranquil mind is a prerequisite for good judgement . . .” introduces the 12 and 12’s chapter on the Ninth Step. 

Taking the ninth step requires good judgment — something I haven’t always used, even in recovery.

 

The first time around I took the Ninth Step, my mind was not tranquil. So, I did not use good judgement I just wanted to get it over. 

Worse, hindsight suggests I wanted to prove how far I was coming along spiritually. 

Sigh.

 

That first time around, I can see now, I did not even try to imagine how my choices affected them.  

 Maybe if I had had a long talk with my sponsor . . .

before I dropped the bomb on my mother: I am sorry I wasn’t the daughter you wanted me to be . . . 

That conversation did not go well —  

mind

The good news is that God wasn’t finished with either of us. 

I learned where to place which pronoun.  

God was/ is patient  and persistently showing me to quit focusing on myself and see how another person might be feeling. 

Because I can never know — really — how another person feels, let me quiet my own self, believing a power greater than I will restore me to a healthy state of mind. 

mind

 Just maybe,  they have issues that have nothing to do with my silly self — Or maybe I really did a job on them that hurt far worse than I could imagine. 

So I need good judgment making amends to those I can, and to those I can not.  

Because they deserved better from me, let me live  as the changed person I need to be — it’s just for today. 

Daily, I need  that tranquil mind that knows God did not die and leave me in charge.  

Depend on God and keep at it
    because in the Lord God you have a sure thing. (Isaiah 26:3)

change

 

We don’t mind being told to believe; we hate being told to follow. So some still ask:  can I be a Christian and not follow Christ? Paige Brown

 

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A Tranquil Mind
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