A woman has accused a nominee for the Supreme Court of sexual assault in high school. She alleges he was drunk beyond reason. Horrifying if this is true; it is worse if it is not. Devastating, for at this point, it is he said, she said.
But all this brought a couple of flashbacks of my high school years — times I am not proud of owning. But own them I do.
I didn’t want to be a drunk when I grew up – but I am glad recovery from alcoholism has helped me grow-up, suit up and show up for life, which is oh so often unmanageable.
Serenity and peace of mind are the direct result of accepting our lives as they are at this moment, and all the money in the world cannot purchase this peace. Eileen P. (Voices of Long-term Sobriety, page 29)
It’s ancient history, but current events made me remember embarrassing details that are part of my story – and my recovery. I knew better; I knew right from wrong – but wrong never felt so right as it did when I had a snoot full.
And I never quite got the message to connect alcohol with all my risky adventures, until I did my fourth step.
After high school, I never managed social drinking well. However, because every drinking experience did not always end in disaster the simple advice: Don’t drink and you won’t get drunk never penetrated. My experience was alcohol gave me permission to do tempting stuff that led me into darker and more dangerous places.
The mercy is, the God I did not know, then, always made a way of escape.
He is still on duty, dear reader if you find yourself returning to unsafe places, literally or emotionally. (Jeremiah 33:3)
The good news is the way of escape remains: ask for help. No shame – no blame. What we can’t do on our own to do, AA’s have managed to do together, as the God of our understanding, whom I call Christ the Lord, restores us to sanity.
Love in Christ,
Sober and Grateful
P.S. I wonder what you think of this recent essay – it captures some thoughts I’ve had, but couldn’t put into words. Are We Happy Yet?
P.P.S. – a Link to AA for the Older Alcoholic