It’s a question I’ve heard and asked. I still do; especially on spiritual and sobriety journeys.
When am I ever going to get there?
“There” is a predictable, permanent place of tranquility, assurance, safety, success. Well duh – probably when I’m dead!
Living sober and as a Christian are not guarantees I will get to where I want, when I want. Nor are they a guarantee I can have what I expect, or think I am entitled to have.
Some people learned this far faster than I have. Theirs are the journeys worth studying
Reading the personal stories in the Big Book and the Bible shows me nobody ever arrived. Oh, they often enjoyed some reprieves – that is, time to rest up and reflect, and then off on another journey. On some journeys, though, they relapsed – see Moses and Peter’s bios.
Relapse is the topic of this month’s Grapevine.
Reading it, I saw a yellow light. I saw how quickly not being honest can sidetrack a soul.
Honesty is how we get sober; it’s also how we stay sober. Rereading How It Workshelps when I see yellow lights; also Psalm 51, especially verse 6.
Dishonesty seems never to be full-blown monster that robs us of serenity and sobriety. No, dishonesty – and the crippling power it unleashes begins with simple thoughts like
- No one will know.
- One sip is not going to kill you.
- You should use real wine in the recipe.
- It says non-alcoholic beer.
- You know how to drink safely.
- You didn’t have these problems when you were drinking.
- How long, God?
- God, it hurts.
In no time, I have the makings of one heck of a destination! 🙁
Are we there yet?
Oh, faster than I could imagine!
With all the crazy thoughts that can derail me, I thank God for His persistent question, where are you?
And for a friend’s question, what step are you working?
Or, for their suggestion, Let’s pray about this.
A relapse sometimes is part of our journey; so is a dry drunk. But while we have breath, we have choices, one of which is being willing to begin again. Get back on board, and stay on the journey recovery is, in faith that God knows the way.
Sobriety is a journey not a destination.
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