Suspended by a Silken Thread —
Praise God I Didn’t Wake Up Dead
Just a few corners I remember,
I could have rounded
and lost my life,
my sanity, or
my freedom.
Expletive deleted! I was dumb!
But no one could have told me that.
I knew better.
I was very smart back then.
How anyone could be as smart
as I thought I was,
but not be thinking,
still boggles my mind.
What a silly horse’s rear end I was, I could say.
And many would agree.
The sick and growing sicker soul in me
I could not see!
I always looked away.
Discounting risks –excusing myself,
I presumed on grace I refused to accept.
I was like that spider suspended over Hell’s hot fire —
one which didn’t worry about that thread
as long as I was dancing.
Oh, occasionally a spark blistered me.
Its scar, and then another, and another grew larger,
and harder to ignore.
They began to whisper, and I heard:
I wasn’t that good person so often wronged by others–
No, they bluntly hissed:
Whatever harm, which came my way,
I mostly had invited in.
Well,
that was sobering
and painfully persistent.
No matter how I controlled my drinking:
I was the author of what
I never planned to be.
Just stop it!
Well, I can’t!
Just try!
I can’t.
You can, you can, you can!
Oh my God — what have I done?
But, when You answered my question
I heard,
Let Me have this ~
Once for all and every day.
