Getting the Fourth Step over with is easier than fretting about why I just can’t do it again; or procrastinating. The Fourth Step isn’t just a glance in the mirror to see if anything is out of place.
Taking the Fourth Step is putting myself in God’s hands, in His Light, and under His care to get rid of what’s not working, and renew the attitudes and actions that bring peace and usefulness. Old-timers need this as much as newcomers!
Periodically, reading Step Four from the 12&12 aloud makes me think about habits, hurts, and hangups that are bigger than Step 10 can cover.
Every so often I catch myself camping on a potential battleground, especially if pride and fear are making too many house calls. (page 49)
Originally, this duo gave me the excuse to keep drinking. They uncorked the bottle and gave me another excuse to hide the cork.
But they can come into my life in other ways than alcohol. At my age and state, pride and fear give me excuses to avoid ALL mirrors.
Pride says “You need not pass this way; and Fear says “You dare not look.” (12&12, page 49)
It helped when an old-timer reminded me: If you have done the THIRD Step, nothing can come up in the inventory that will make God drop me, or fire me.
If that habit or hurt or hang-up is blocking the light, marring my reflection– examine it. (Beginning on page 64 of Chapter 5, The Big Book)
The reflection in my Fourth Step Mirror isn’t a nasty monster; I am in recovery. Maybe I am not all I could be; but I sure am not what I once was!
I want to live in the Light, under the care of God as I understand Him. ( The BEattiudes)
Folks who tell you, “Putting it off won’t make it any easier,” presume there’s a point where you plan to stop putting it off. ~Robert Brault
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