I could have said, “I’m fine.” But when my friend called me back and asked how I was doing going into the 29th week of the COVID-19 pandemic, I said
“Well, I’m sober.”
“I am too,” she said.
We both laughed, part in disbelief that we are where we are; but, oh so grateful that just for today alcohol is not a pressing problem.
Now FINE, I am fine, would have been true, too.
(If, that is, FINE is an acronym for frazzled, insecure, nervous, and edgy!)
How I Am, Really
I live with an unfocused feeling of dread. If dread doesn’t show up, then lonesomeness, remoteness, annoyance, and . . . meanness drop by and try to take up space in my old brain. And just when I corral these dangerous emotions, something else knocks on the door – like bad news, trouble, etc.
So, I guess that is the bond my friend and I enjoyed . . . Today we didn’t drink over stuff we never ever thought we’d be unable to control!
The inability to control so many little things fit perfectly with the reflection for the day which I pass along:
A PRICELESS GIFT
By this time in all probability, we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety – in other words, to all of us – this newfound peace is a priceless gift.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74
I am learning to let go and let God, to have a mind that is open and a heart that is willing to receive God’s grace in all my affairs; in this way I can experience the peace and freedom that come as a result of surrender. It has been proven that an act of surrender, originating in desperation and defeat, can grow into an ongoing act of faith, and that faith means freedom and victory.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Even in days like today – especially in times like this, sobriety is a wise choice. So is serentity. Have I said this before? 😉
I am also passing along a link to a five-minute encouragement from Joni Eareckson Tada: How are we persevering?
Surely some of the answers to her questions are an important part of a searching and fearless inventory! One thing about the pandemic, it took away my excuse I just don’t have time to do another Fourth Step. Now, I can find out why I feel so F.I.N.E!
Thinking of you, friend, and sending love and prayers.
Love in Christ,
Sober and Grateful