Isolating myself is a choice I make that indulges loneliness, and loneliness is one character trait common among almost all alcoholics.
“There is always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand . . . That’s one reason we loved alcohol too well . . . But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness.” (The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 57)
Drinking, I felt locked away from God, too.
A timely take-away from a recent meeting was beware of loneliness; that is, isolating myself from the very people and power who can be the light in the dark corners of my heart. Two folks described what isolating themselves gave them permission to do: pick up.
One thing about attending meetings, I am going to be reminded: think the drink through.
Getting to meetings and hearing others’ stories is a better use of my time than listening to me, myself, and prattle on, rehearsing grievances, fears, and resentments, or setting myself up for disappointments by creating demands from my expectations.
It’s That Time of Year . . .
As the holidays loom large, hiding is an impulse that bubbles just below the surface of my brain, generating excuses why I don’t call or get myself to a meeting:
I, I, I . . . My ego is not my amigo.
Ego is something that deadens the pain of stupidity.~ Rick Rigsby
The bedrock of recovery is we can do together, what none of us could do alone. If recovery fits well today, that’s worth sharing. If recovery pinches a bit today, it is time listen to others and learn.
Here’s a parting point, a wise soul injected into a take-away comment from the meeting:
Nobody comes into a meeting at the top of his or her game.
And in the rooms, around the tables, we learn recovery is no game.