Let’s Talk About Resentments

Resentments? I Never had Any

When I came into AlAnon, I did not feel resentful.  (A Beam of Light in a Scary Basement)

Of course I was still drinking —or using alcohol to be somebody other than the me I didn’t want to be. 

Then, a friend in that program defined “resentments.” It wasn’t exactly a dictionary definition, but helped me see what I was full of: 

“A resentment is re-sensing my emotions.” 

Now I saw that for several years  I re-sensed — felt again — pain, grief, shame . . . jealousy feelings that became handy excuses for my bad behavior. And alcohol said it would make me feel better.

Codependency on my resentments might be one of the dumbest excuses I could make. (How to Kick Squatters out of my Brain )

So I won’t. 

People who dwell upon trivial and perhaps imagined wrongs are exhausting their time and resources for contributing to reconciliation of real and substantial wrongs people are suffering today. (A wise man once said)

Resentments can spring up faster than a weed, and morph into a mountain of excuses —even in recovery.



The biggest resentment that still sneaks up on me is the one that dresses up as “concern” for other folks who will just not follow all my good advice.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11). In moments of calm, the wise man’s counsel sounds so right, so sane. Overlooking offenses is our glory.

And overlooking some things, places and people can keep me sober — literally and metaphorically. 

If you hug to yourself any resentment against [people, places, or things], you destroy the bridge by which God would come to you. (Peter Marshall)

How’s life in your neck of the woods, dear reader? Any suggestions on resentments and how you have handled them? 

This bit of wisdom made me pause — what do you think?

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~Author unknown


Love in Christ,

Sober and Grateful 

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Let’s Talk About Resentments
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