One benefit of the AA fellowship is our sharing of experiences, strength, and hope.
Sharing our experiences, on whatever page of recovery we are writing, reminds me how good God is. Listening is key.
Hearing others share keeps me right-sized. Listening keeps me on my side of the street, too. Other voices tell me I am not alone, nor am I a special case. I am just powerless over alcohol.
But, with God, . . . well, He’s the hope who has carried me over many pitfalls. My powerlessness combined with His strength somehow takes me places I never imagined.
Once upon a time, I wasn’t sane. Stoned, drunk, listening to cool jazz, my own voice was telling me how much easier it would be to just let go and go crazy. Get myself locked up, and that way I would be taken care of. Made sense at the time when I was getting deeper into the emotional craziness drinking goes!
But then I heard another voice – different from mine: quiet, firm, authoritative, and pithy: No, it wouldn’t.
I wasn’t looking for God’s opinion – that was in my I wish were an atheist days. But looking back, I believe He gave it. When I finally became willing to listen for His answer to my question, am I an alcoholic, it sure sounded like the same Guy!
In meetings, even the uncomfortable ones, when I start to wonder if this is a good use of my time, I hear something, or see someone who reminds me of the promise, God is alive and well, and busy – doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
So, sanity and recovery are two threads God is knitting together. Along with a third, me, who sometimes fights against getting wrapped up with people who are nothing like me, until I quit comparing and start listening.
Yes, I sometimes wonder if a drink could hurt after all this time – but when was a drink ever what I was after? Hearing other people’s honesty reminds me where a drink took me. It took me to another drink, and another, and finally then to a cliff from which I imagined it might be reasonable to jump.
Dear reader: If you are like me, powerless over alcohol, (or powerless over another person’s choices) I pray you hear help and hope in my experience – and I hope you find a fellowship of folks whose sanity is anchored to the God who has never failed to rescue a searching, hurting heart.( Psalm 56:8)
Love in Christ,
Sober and Grateful
FYI: Some Resources