I used to think that I would – could and should outgrow some griefs . . . and some I have. Although other times, I astonish myself with the slowness of the little grey cells! How slow a learner have I been? Well, in the words of a friend at a meeting today – even the tortoise has crossed the finish line!
Counter to all the conventional wisdom that permeated my growing up, life isn’t a contest. Only now I am finally figuring out that those voices that keep telling me what a loser I am don’t come from my Higher Power. Although with His help, I can see how silly, impractical, dangerous and dumb some choices were, and maybe still are. (Becoming Fluent In Sobriety )
The important thing is to keep learning, growing, and as needs be, changing. Changing not because the wind blows this way or that . . . but changing so that I keep shedding the baggage weighing me down . . . wait: wouldn’t molting be a better description?
Shedding that all the notions accompanying self-absorption can leave a person feeling pretty naked. It’s a good thing my Higher Power has a wardrobe in mind, and AA friends in the program can reflect back how these new duds are working for me. And I can help them fit into their new habits, too.
But we can’t find happiness in the pride that sets us against our fellow humans, saying, “I don’t need you,” or even, “I’m better than you.” We do need each other. And each of us has strengths, weaknesses, and God-given talents that God expects us to use to help each other. (In God’s Care, June 3)
And I can’t care –won’t care – for anybody, including myself, if I sit myself down to a martyr’s meal, or throw a huge pity party! That’s a lesson worth learning quickly!
