My past is as much a part of me as a rear-view mirror is standard equipment on a car. Driving safely means glancing in the rearview mirror, not staring at it.
Now, I remember some stuff that tempts me to take my eyes off the present and stare at the past: A dodgy way to drive, and a more risky way to live.
Growing up, alcohol was a problem for some people I loved; it became a problem for me because I was too proud to admit I couldn’t handle booze, and too lonely to even try to stop. I liked it – and just grew to ignore the trouble I kept getting into with it.
So, regrets: I have a few.
But here’s where this crazy wonderful program works, if I do what others suggest.
When bad memories erupt, I don’t have to stare, or wallow in the past if
I’ve inventoried those memories, and admitted to God and another person the exact nature of my wrongs;
I’ve asked Him to remove them, and
I continue following the suggestions AA makes for recovery. (See Chapter 6, AA Big Book)
I wish some things could have been different, but they aren’t. All the sad, stupid, irresponsible parts got me to where I am today—living and enjoying a daily reprieve from a life threatening illness.
Recovery changes us.
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” ~ Alice in Wonderland
Today, my past is how God set me free from chains I kept forging. The memories show me two things:
- God’s faithfulness in my bull-headedness and in my weakness.
- His helping hand and His healing Hand was, and is outstretched, and will be, too. (Hebrews 13:8-9)
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