Putting down the drink is not a lifetime guaranteed pass to a pink cloud; bumping into reality hurts. I still need the fellowship, strength and hope that AA meetings offer! And the good orderly direction that is freely available if I will listen and learn. I heard some of that advice today: Stand still and change.
Now, that sounds impossible!
I am worse then Pavlov’s dogs when trouble rings – I jump up, or in, and try solving a problem that isn’t always mine to solve. Pride or self-centeredness may tell me it is; or, fear and shame confirm it’s my duty to clean this mess up. Alcohol was a way I could silence their accusations.
Since drinking’s not an option, what do I do?
AA meetings are where I can see all the advice in AA literature played out; it’s where I can listen to stories of what practicing the program looks like, and see changes in people over time who are living without alcohol, with gratitude one day at a time.
AA’s and their stories create an impression and a bond – sometimes when I feel wobbly I remember the experience or wisdom or even a slip that somebody else has described and see a way of out of my troubles. What I hear and see at meetings have become like corrected lens through which I can see stuff I never saw through a bottle.
Primarily, I can see I don’t have to have an opinion or a solution for other people’s problems. Trying to run other people’s lives is about as productive a job as teaching pigs to sing: it’s a waste of time and it makes the pigs mad.
Some people may know intuitively how to do this – I didn’t. “
I am well aware that alone I cannot solve my problems, but with God and the fellowship I can keep growing and living.” (The 12&12, page 34) Even if all my problems don’t get solved right away, or ever.
“In AA meetings, I can see how to let go, give over, resign the responsibility for running the universe because I see other AAs doing it – and not drinking over the problems and people they cannot control.
They say that if drinking won’t bring you to your knees, sobriety will.” (The 12 &12, p. 34-35)
On my knees, I can stand still; and when I stand still, my Higher Power, whom I call God will restore me to sanity – the very change I need. (Psalm 46:10)
Nothing is so bad, a drink won’t make it worse.
Love in Christ,
Sober & Grateful
FYI: The AA Organization